Self

As much as some pple might disagree with this, but i must say that how one behaves is strongly influenced by the people around him/her at the moment. This is to say that there is no single 'personality' that demarks an individual; an individual can be, in the eyes and words of 2 other pple, a totally different person. To put it simply, it means that a crook can also be deemed a hero; a funny clown may be deemed a monotonous mundane creature.

As such, people have always struggled to grasp the concept of self. To most people, there is a true self, the most natural state of a person. That is why terms like split personality; hypocrites etc came about. If u are known to be a quiet man, they wouldnt expect u to spout gibberish.

However, I have come to terms that such concept of self is totally self-induced. People somehow can convince themselves that they have a specific range of traits that define him separately from others. I believe though that every human comes equipped with the full range of behavioural traits that comes together with the species homo sapiens. The self that they adopted is mainly what they feel they are/ want to be.

As such, it would be extremely limiting and suffocating to keep up with the image of self. It limits the full potential of mankind. Imagine that you somehow managed to soothsay urself that you are an extrovert. Does it mean that this is you? By starting with this fixed image which u feel deceiving comfort in, you are limiting urself, you strip urself of the valuable experience and thinking that an introvert will obtain in a scenario.

What happens then if one starts with no notions in his mind? He can act as his heart desires; he can choose to take the initiative to socialise or just stay back and observe others. In this way, he understands and experience the usage of the 2 behaviours; there is no need to stick to a behaviour, he can change to his own benefit; he can play the game to his opponents rules.

The more options one has, he adds more wepon to his arsenal. Just like in programs, the basic mode has few choices, is easy to use. The advance mode may appear complicated with more options, but one can customised it according to his need, and in this manner, succeeded in making the program more powerful and useful. Choices liberates; if used correctly. Rigidness kills.

It would hence be interesting to note that i have especially varying behaviours. While well-known to be a quiet reserved man, one who has managed to find his way pass the wall to my heart will find me an extremely talkative guy who can keep others entertained for hours. This may be a poor example, for such behaviour is part of the human defense mechanism; for talking too much to mere acquaintances may have its disastrous effects. However, I too, have learnt to even chat with 'strangers' nonstop, because sometimes this is necessary, eg when the stranger is a superior etc. In this sense, one made use of the human weakness of prefering friendly pple to his own benefit; I chose to be friendly in those circumstances because I knew it is the best course of action.

What I am saying primarily is that instead of staying with the notion that personality determines your actions, why not adopt a paradigm shift and think that your choice of action affect your personality( portrayed ).Instead of saying that because you are a kind man, u help others indiscriminately, why not say that because you help someone, you are a perceived kind man?

With this, it liberates the burden of one, for decisions can now be made rationally instead of being made to keep up with the so called self. Dont tell me a 'generous' man still continue to donate when he is poor? It would hence be ridiculous to restrict your own self because of your so-called claim to remain true to ur personality.

Some of you all might be enraged now, for what I propose seems to suggest that principles are a whole load of crap. Yes, principles are what one chooses to believe in. One can believe in responsibility, kindness etc. This provides a guideline to ones actions, decisions can be made relatively less painstakingly, and it rarely strays wrong for beliefs are often adopted after long thinking. But this is analogous to the basic mode of programs; it provides a simple solution to decision-making. But what made one realli great is if he can analyse every situation as a totally new one and analyse if there are better solutions than sticking to his principles. Instead of letting his beliefs and 'personality' rule his actions, his analytic mind now generates the appropriate his actions which affects his personality being portrayed. And this is true flexibility and power.

When we say that Mr so and so is a kind, humble, generous, active guy, we based it on what we experienced with contact with this person. His actions drove us to this conclusion. Who knows, maybe such actions are rare and few, he may be a bastard 99% of the time. We wouldnt know, because the only way one judges others is by his actions.With this concept in mind, it would not be hard to concur that actions should be more important and should be the ruling force instead of beliefs and personalities.

Now we come to the last qn. Is there true self? I mean, is one borned to be more inclined towards adopting a certain type of behaviour. Is it naturally determined? Or is it gained after we experienced life? Inclined, maybe yes. But determined,I would think no, for often, we heard people changing personalities, from a good guy to a bad guy etc. Hence, i would be more inclined to believe that personalities and beliefs are developed after life experience aided by maybe birth inclination, subconsiously most of the time though. IF one manages to will his self to consiously be aware of his own actions, instead of letting personality and beliefs take over, he would be a master of his own destiny. True self and personality thus, is but another belief held stubbornly by man.