Tuesday, July 28, 2009

I'm back finally from a long hiatus. It feels nostalgic... good.... yet kind of weird to be back here in this cyberspace.

Days have elapsed and events have zoomed by since my last 'active' appearance here. By 'active', of course I mean a proper post; not those personality tests i put up sporadically nor the brief post which appeared here last week. It feels nostalgic and good, because essentially, I'm one which feels at ease online. To blog is as instinctive as to eat or to sleep, and during the period which i didnt blog, i didnt really eat or sleep well either.

It feels weird too however. I can't really describe this feeling precisely; all I can say is that it felt exactly the same as the time when i recover from a broken leg. How I felt when I walked again after not walking for so long. The exact same feeling when i started playing my harmonica again after such a long break. I felt a bit uncomfortable, a bit hesitant... and everything is just so strange and uncertain.

Finally, it dawned on me that I really am one which really thrive on momentum. I gain strength as I do the same task repeatedly without rest. I like the feeling of having exams after exams, or work after work. The feeling of continuity, of familiarity. Even now, I am pondering over whether to take my GRE. A long break from exams has dulled my sharpness, and my familiarity with the system. Unlike the smarter or more adaptable people I've known who has little difficulty settling into a different routine, I really have quite a long pick up time.

Even as I'm writing this post, i'm unsure of myself. Sure enough, I still have the ideas, I still retain my ability to think. But the ability to write has somehow become a bit distant to me. I struggle to find words to express my ideas succinctly even though my vocabulary is no less than it was several months ago. I pondered over whether I should blog about certain things or not. Yet, deep inside, I'm still confident. Confident that I'll be able to write comfortably and happily, and regain my love for writing within a short period of time.

Sure enough, my writing style may change, my ideas, my views, my thoughts may change. But I'm still the same person, and may this blog track the evolution of myself in the days to come, and bring back memories to me many years from now.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

AH GUAN