College Day

Maybe I have an attack of inferior complex or whatever, but somehow I feel like I dont belong to the list of prize-winners. For all of them possesses that scholarly look, are active in CCA and community service while the ahbeng, vulgar, unrefined, selfish me just spend most of my time minding my own problems.

It may be the wish of every student to go up on stage and receive the applaud of reassurance for their academic achievement, but that day, I have no special feelings when I stepped up to the much coveted stage. I don't know why, maybe I am plagued with troubles of my own, maybe I am just too tired, maybe I feel out of place among the future Singapore leaders, or maybe prize winning has just lost its thrill for me.

In fact, I felt better after the college day, when I catch up with my teachers as well as juniors and friends, to find out that I was not forgotten and still has a little space in thier memories. Maybe I am just destined to be a normal guy who hangs around with his friends often, eating free refreshments as though we were afraid it will all be eaten up, to engage in small, seemingly insignificant talk, than the highly educated, focused, conscientious, refined, cultured, cheem english-speaking, ambitious, success-driven talent that the education system demands of supposedly smart students like me.

For I am still a small child in this world of grown-ups.