Been Raining a lot the last few days. Rainy days always make me feel happy. I would love to just stand in the rain, stoning, feeling the cooling waters on my head. Somehow, it will make me feel revitalised. It bring me to good times, when it rains, all work will cease. Bring me to the funny moments when we all would juz pray for rain, for we cant enter the explosives area in the strong rain. The endless crapping session, the ultimate slack duty.. ha. Realli unfortunate that I am on course these week, heh, otherwise i will be slacking with u guys out there.

Course. First time i have touched notes in my last few months. My brain is realli rusty now, couldnt realli take the studying. Ha... so wat if I am from hwachong? so wat if I am a jc student? I am not as gd as pple make me up to be. Studying is never my forte, for i never could score in subjects that i detest to the core. Maybe i do possess dat tiny bit of intelligence i guess, but thats all i suppose. In fact, many pple have rightfully pointed out dat i dun behave and look like a jc student. Yeah, i suppose they are right. How can someone with such a heck care mentality, someone who talks so much crap be a decent guy? Seriously, Im not, and i have no wish to act as if i am one.

Scored highest for publication reference WHICH is hardly surprising, because haha... copying wholesale from notes is not dat hard after all. Cant stand it when pple start saying things like i very good, very zai or whatever crap. As i have told one of my frens b4, I never like hearing compliments, whether they are superficial or sincere from the heart. For i have a fair idea whether what i did deserve the respect of others n there is absolutely no need for others to praise me. I am my own judge.

The gd thing about this course is the meeting up with my frens. Pple who were once just mere acquaintances exchanging numbers to be frens. Strengthened by the things we went thru in this course. The tough tests. The copying of answers ( even though i onli supply answer n never take any ). The jokes in lessons. Heartbaring talks about life. It amazes me how well I can talk with pple i hardly talked to last time. As a lot of pple have commented, either directly or indirectly, Im a dao person. Not socially approachable person. My fren just commented that i looked very fierce when i scold others. Lucky i never lost my temper for a few years liaoz.

Met a junior. Glad to see him still the same old crappy, cheery self. Hope that the next 2 and a half years dun wear his cheerfulness down. He said he wanted to come up to my camp. I just told him straight, dun come up. I cant bear to see someone so cheerful being thrown harshly right into the darkest side of human nature. Maybe he would become as much a disilusioned soul as me. Again, maybe everywhere is the same. If so, maybe he would be better with me around in camp to help him around.

He said something which struck a chord with me. Me too, have often felt i have wasted a lot of my life last time. But now, I know, regretting is useless. One must realise that it is inevitable to come to the conclusion that he is wasting his life. For man is self-improving; he will never be satisfied with how he spend his time. But this idea itself is flawed, for there is no real measure of how well time is spent. How can u compare one hour of gaming with one hour of studying or one hour of talking or one hour of sleeping? All the events make us better in some different aspects, make us think in different ways. It is like a RPG, when u level up, u can choose to level up in attack, defense, hit points or mana points or speed. There is no such rule that say attack is more important or speed is least important. Whatever u choose, it will shape ur final destiny, u just have to accept it, and be proud that u are who u turn out to be today.
Similarly, time spent is never wasted.

this post is a bit long and it may not be structured, but anyway, heck it, who cares?