From the Lost Pages (iii)

After ORD period.

Time passes slowly. Missing army life badly.

Intensive meeting up with old frens period. Glad to see everyone progressing respectively in their own careers, education. Yet, somehow wish everything will remain at a standstill, back to the time where we were still in camp.

The time where we would 'twang' at guard duty, sitting down and discussing our futures dreams and hopes; where we share our past experiences and adventures; or maybe where we juz gossip like KPO aunties. The time where we will play insane soccer at the basketball courts, where we made a nuisance out of ourselves in the cookhouse and canteen.

Times that has past and would never come back. Frenship that may be in the danger of slipping into oblivion, banished to the depths of the human memories. Yet isn't life always this tiring chore? Making new frens, losing most of them, making other new frens, losing some of them. This vicious cycle continues, drawing nostalgia out of them, drawing sentimental feelings out of them.

Feelings that are as fickle, as transient as the honeyed words of a smooth talker. How could you ever claim you were once good frens when all you did now is to occasionally say a few polite words when you meet? How could you say you value his friendship when you did not mourn the degrading of this relationship, and even if you did, maybe for a few pathethic moments?

Maybe They were just 'friends of necessity', frens you had to made beacuse you will be in the same environment with them for a period of your life. Maybe life is a constant sifting through these 'friends of necessity' to find the true frens, the real jewels we are seeking for. Maybe, maybe this is just how life is.

Maybe i shouldn't think so much.