Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Sunday, October 11, 2009


These words really describe me now. I think, sometimes, it is really unhealthy to keep forcing yourself to tolerate certain things.... often, they spring back with a vengeance.

Sunday, October 04, 2009

You know Bugis MRT station?

On 30th September, as I was walking to the MRT station, i had a great shock. The amount of people there was incredible, you know, from the MRT station all the way to the escalator, there are people queueing up.

At first I still don't know what was happening. I thought, "Is it just now the earthquake very strong ah, make part of the mrt station collapse, thats why so many people there to watch commotion? Because, I really felt the earthquake before that... and it was incredibly strong, probably a greater shock than the scene i saw at the mrt station later. I can hear shaking sounds throughout the whole building, and i was getting a bit disorientated so much so that i first, i thought that i must be so stressed till I'm seeing stars. Subsequently, everyone evacuated the building, then i realise that it must be an earthquake.

Back to my previous story. To my amusement, i realised what had happened in the MRT station. The jokers are queueing up for their ez-link card! i seriously don't understand because:

1) You have had about 9 months to exchange the card, why exchange on the last day? It is not as if the government never remind you to replace the card hor.
2) If you can delay exchanging the card for so long = you dont really care about the money. I mean it's only a few dollars. You spend a few hours queueing up for the card, your potential loss > a few dollars definitely. Really, to queue up for hours for a few dollars = no logic.

The next day, i heard on 95.8, the DJ (sorry i cant remember who) arguing that maybe the government never prepare enough, and never allocate enough manpower for the replacement exercise. I felt so incredulous at the remark. Everyday, i take MRT, close to ZERO people were exchanging. Ok, got a few people every now and then, but they can definitely be counted with the fingers on my hands. How can you say the government never prepare enough?

Ok, let's do some quick maths.

Total ezlink cards to be replaced --> 8 million (i put as 8.1 million) [source channelnewsasia]
Number of days in 9 months --> about 270 days.
Number of card to be replaced a day = 8.1 million / 270 = 30000 per day
Number of stations in singapore to replace the cards = about 100 (Depending on type of card, some more, some less)
Load per station per day = 30000/100 = 300
Assuming the stations are opened for only 6 hours a day, load per station per hour = 300/6 = 50

50 cards per hour is easily achievable, because the replacement for each card wont even take 1 minute (and there are multiple counters at every outlet)! And take note that I have given generous allowance at every step. The actual amount of cards to be replaced would probably be around 6 million only (Some do not wish to replace, some are owned by tourists etc), the stations are probably opened MUCH longer each day than 6 hours, especially the transitlink offices.

So, it is probably the people's own fault that they wait until the last minute to change! The worst thing is the fact that the government condone their behaviour and extend the dates by another 1 week! What are you trying to tell your citizens? That it is okay to wait until the last minute to do things?

In hokkien, we call this "crude translation - wait until your shit going to come out liao then look for toilet". Ya, shit going to come out liao. If I'm the government, I will make sure they soil their pants.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

On Friday, I went back to school. It was a walk down memory lane. I remembered fondly the walkways down the engineering blocks. There, I spent hours playing cards, chatting and hanging around with friends, doing work on my laptop, or just strolling leisurely. I remembered you guys who i talked to, who i chatted with on msn when I was there, you guys who happened to pass by me and stop for a brief conversation.

Then, i went to techno edge. I remembered again the lunches we had, the discussions we had, the pretty engine girls who walked about the canteen, the 'chopping' of seats with our bags. In arts again, i remembered the days after french classes, philo/lit classes. Everywhere I go, memories flooded my brain like a torrent, overpowering my senses.

I realise, i really miss school. I didn't realise it then, but now I do.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Refer to last wednesday's show at 8+ on Channel 8.

Aiyah, I don't know what the show is called. (seldom watch tv) But it is the one that shows Mark Lee going to Holland, and talking to various people.

A section of it is dedicated to the primary school system there. There, there is no ranking, no exams, only fun learning. They learn various kinds of knowledge in the school, and they are taught how to live with others and be nice to them. The kids appear enthusiastic to learn and they also accommodate each other's learning. It seems so peaceful, i would say, so blissful to learn there.

Contrast it with the system we have locally. Here, students and parents fight tooth and nail for a place in a prestigious school. They simply don't care if others die, as long as they survive and win.

- If you are in the same class as me, and you are slower than the rest of the class, then you will be faulted for slowing down the pace of the class. (Little did they know that everyone's speed is uniquely different and in every class there will definitely be people who are slower. Unless you have a class for 1 person, but how many teachers are there in this society)

- Parents do silly things to get their children into THEIR OWN dream school (not their children's dream school, for god's sake). This include going for DSA (like getting in through sports achievements blah blah). Do note that if intellectually your child is not as quick as his peers, he will gain nothing by going into a prestigious school other than the constant battering of his waning self-esteem.

- Inconsiderate behaviour. If I can't learn, so can't you. I will keep disturbing you until you die together with me. (Hello, where did children get this kind of thinking?)

- The constant exams, tuition and homework. What?!? 12 hours of studies a day, even during weekends? Yep, welcome to the new world, where students work longer than adults and are more tired than adults.

True enough, our system has been shown to produce students who are academically strong. But what about those that gets weeded out by the system? And the happiness and childhood that is sacrificed in the pursuit of results which is believed to lead to fortune and fame? Shrug, I don't know.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

One of the questions I've always pondered about in my life is: Why do some people not perform well in school, in exams blah blah.

I mean, even though there's a multitude of theories and explanations to explain this point, I can't really empathise. You may now be thinking, wah, this guy so yaya, think himself damn smart, condemn all the other pple who don't do well.

Erm, i must admit this might be true to a certain extent, but wait, let me finish my story. Coming from a good school, and having friends who are mostly high flyers, it is indeed quite hard to take the point of view of people that are quite foreign in my life, even though i always try, i can't say that i always succeed. I digress.

You know, i always believed that learning is fun, and i always fail to see why some people keep on say they dread learning. I mean, how can there be something that is more fun than learning in this world, to know more about ourselves, the world around us, how every nut and bolt turn in life (Wah this guy so arrogant, think his own view is the truth). To me, humans are born to learn, the thirst for knowledge is inherent, unless of course, the person has some brain damage or personality disorder blah blah. And if you like to learn, definitely you should score well, because learning is supposed to have a direct correlation with grades, right? (well, this is debatable i realise)

Slowly, i began to realise, actually i was a bit wrong, but not that wrong after all. A child's mind is fresh, a clean state. Out of all the children i've encountered, i realise almost every children desire to learn, to be taught; and they like to learn pretty much EVERYTHING, from languages to maths and sciences, from arts, humanities, music to even the vices (not recommended though). The problem is, most of them like to learn at their own pace at their own speed, and with people who can inspire them. They don't like to learn at an accelerated speed, to learn with certain people (esp critical pple), especially if their results or performance are not good, because it only highlights and enhances their flaws. It is the misfit of individuals into an education system that ultimately leads to their failure to perform, or the losing of their passion for learning. I realise that ultimately, people still like to learn, and they are pretty much self-driven in the process and i'm pretty much heartened by that realization.

Unfortunately the problem is still very much alive. We have children who actually do not dislike learning, they just don't like to learn in the setting they are in. Knowing that they are still passionate about learning enhances my own understanding but does little to help them; they cannot choose their parents, their teachers and schools (ok there is a bit of choice here, but most people do not exercise it), their peers, their country, and their education system. The result is, some people are still going to flunk at the system, and lose their enthusiasm for learning even though they were once passionate about discovering the world around them. Some of these people may even be so bitter that they let their view be tainted and be tormented for the rest of their life, while others are fortunate enough to change sometime later in their life.

Because a lot of things are largely beyond a child's sphere of influence, i believe a lot of things are just fated. Some people are just fated to meet the right person and system to liberate his mind, while some people are just unlucky enough to be at the wrong place, at the wrong time, with the wrong people. If you are one of those lucky ones, count your blessings; if you are not, bear in mind the world is large and who knows, you'll find your heaven one day, as long as you never stop believing.

Saturday, September 05, 2009

An explanation of the origins of the name Bukit Batok, as given by wikipedia:

A more ribald explanation has it that the two hills in the area looked like green buttocks to the British, a word which suffered verbal mutilation among the Chinese to finally emerge as batok.


*Why buttocks and asses? Why not breasts? =p

And of Bukit Timah:

Some say that timah is an abbreviation of Fatimah, a popular Malay girl's name.


Morale of the story: Seeing how people come out with names/stories to explain words, i guess it is important to remember our history lessons. Who knows, maybe in the future, people will be speculating that the name Raffles institution came from a Rubbish-collector (raffle = rubbish); or that the name Hwa Chong is derived from the clock tower in the school (Zhong is clock in chinese). Or maybe, Nanyang is just a verbal mutilation of the word niang-niang (Niang Niang Chiang = feminine). Seeing how the names of our places have such wonderful etymologies, i wont be surprised.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

National Library Board

On Tuesday evening, as i was rushing to a class, I absent mindedly left my pencil case in level 4 of National Library. When I found out about it late at night, the library is already close so I cannot go back to find it. Thus, i endured the heart-pain of losing my pencil case for that night, and vowed to find it back the next day.


On the next day, as I had work to do, i could not go back to the library to find my pencil case. I did the next best rational action -- that is, to call up national library board. The website listed the number of jurong east regional library, so i dialled that number on my phone.

"ring ring..."
"Welcome to the National Library Board. For...... press 1..."

What??? The number was listed under Jurong East regional library and they directed me to a Computer system? Ok never mind I thought. Maybe, got chance ah, Jurong East library very big, got a computerised system for itself. So after pressing through a few buttons, I was directed to this customer service person.

" Morning, National Library Board. May I help you?"
"Erm, Uh, is this Jurong East regional library?"
"No, this is the centralised national library board system..."

Alright, so i learned my lesson. Cheh, so jurong east not very big. The website just misguided me, that's all. What I buay song ah, is that the person seemed very pissed off, as if I'm some idiot for still bearing hope that the line leads to jurong east regional library directly. Or maybe she said she from NLB liao just i stupid never pay attention. Or maybe ah, maybe only, she was actally damn polite, just that i was in a bad mood so i misinterpreted her as being rude and condescending.

Whatever is the case, I continued to describe to her the story of me losing my pencil case. When she heard that the thing I lost was just a pencil case ah, she give an exclamation, as if I kicking up a big fuss for losing a pencil case. Hello, my pencil case got sentimental value leh. On top of being older than her 9 yr old son (if someone wants to marry her in te first place), the pencil case accompanied me through my tests and exams, the O levels, all the NUS exams. Wah I even remember where i bought each of the stationery, ok? Please Don't judge the worth of my items based on your own yardstick, ya?

Ok, so the story continues, and she seem uninterested for the rest of the speech. At the end, she said she will convey the information to her colleague at jurong east, who will get back to me. i was thinking, can't you just redirect my line or at least give me jurong east library's number meh? Thinking again, i thought, maybe this is their system, their policy, so bobian. Ok, so i mustered a thank you (She must have been really patient to bear with a retard like me) and went back to wait for a painful one hour plus.

You may be thinking, wah why this guy so drama one ah? Lose one pencil case, kbkb. Well as i explained, firstly, just because a person may think of a pencil case as being insignificant doesnt mean it isnt important to another person; secondly, i was wondering if the lady really did pass my message, or if i have appeared too retarded and ridiculous for her to ignore me.

After a while though, i received the call from jurong east library, the ultimate death sentence, or so, i thought.

"Sorry, We didnt find your pencil case."

Wah i hear liao really damn sad. I thought, they so long then call back, must be activate search party go find my pencil case. Like that cannot find I also must ren ming liao. Ya, the feeling is just like got one doctor tried his best to save the patient, but cannot. The typical scene seen in dramas.

Guess what? My father went in the afternoon to find it, and there it was, with the cleaner on level 4. I was like... flabbergasted. You mean you take so long to call me back, saying that there is no pencil case, where it is all along with the cleaner on level 4? I bet you must have kept your lazy ass glued to the seat and never even gone to level 4 to find my stuff, despite me brandishing so much information about where i lost my pencil case, and a vivid description of how my beloved pencil case looks like?

Ok, i rest my case. At least i have my pencil case back. And that's all that matters.

Thursday, August 20, 2009


Venice, is a city that is better experienced in the photographs/postcard than in real life. Why do i say that? One look at the water, and im sure you wont want to go back to Venice again. =p That said, venice is actually a decent place. St mark square is both grand and imposing, and its proximity to the ever alluring sounds and scent of water is a sure win formula. The drawback is its crowds, but im sure that can be avoided by doing there in the correct season. A must visit for first timers to italy, but undeserving of further praise.
Rating: 7/10

Definitely a must-visit in Italy. If you only have one day in Italy, my advice is to skip rome, skip naples, skip venice, and head straight to florence. You will know when you arrive there. This place has everything that one yearns for in a city. The big name churches, museums, paintings, sculptures and attractions; the buzz and vibrance of city life; a peaceful retreat up with water, greenery and height for sightseeing purpose. It is in a way, similar to one of my favourite places of all time, salzburg. Dont tell people you have been to italy if you have not been to firenze.
Rating: 8.5/10

I'm only here for half a day and it is not sufficient to make a judgement on this place. However, the half day spent there has left a good impression on me. Calm, peaceful, and with one of the architectural feats in the world (the leaning tower), this places warrants a visit. The city square has a sense of serenity.
Rating: 7.5/10

Cinque Terre
The much hyped Cinque Terre doesn't live up to its reputation of having 5 distinct lands, in my opinion, but nonetheless, it remains an attractive place. Sea-side places never fail to charm me, and Cinque, with its beautiful coastlines, have been amazing, even though it has not exceeded expectations. Do be prepared to trek when you are here, and just relax to enjoy the best out of here.
Rating: 8/10

Naples and Amalfi coast
I didnt spend much time in naples, however, the place is creepy and can be scary for some, as motorbikes zoomed around and traffic control is nonexistence in this complex place. The surrounding places are much nicer however; Mount vesuvius is lovely and give terrific views of the plains of italy and its cities; the amalfi coastline is indeed one of the best in the world, with a nice composition of human settlements amidst the cliffs and luxurious greeneries. Easily overlooked as a tourist destination, i would say this is a worthwhile visit, probably more so than rome itself.
Rating: 8/10

Rome and Vatican
Rome is an average city, with ruins just like athens, however, the colosseum and the agora and in much preserved state than its greek counterparts, and so it a much better visit than athens. Vatican, however, is a revelation. The basilica and the square is grand and awe-inspiring; the vatican mueseum is amazing, and i would say it is better than Louvre. Do remember to visit this place, but try to avoid human traffic to get the best of this place. Afterall, countless people do want to visit the sistine chapel and see the last judgement, eh?
Rating: 7 for Rome, 8 for Vatican (7.5/10)

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Central Europe

I kind of liked this place. Surprising because I generally don't like big cities, and Sofia, being the capital city of bulgaria, could be considered as a big city. Well, my encounter there was mostly pleasant. Despite being a big city, its citizens did not live a hurried life. Life was pretty relaxing there, and you feel as if the whole place belongs to you. The city square was pretty empty when we were there, sans all the noise, hustle and bustle of big cities. I liked the way we could wander around without being bothered by anything. The backdrop of the city was beautiful too, a lovely mountain Vitosha in the near vicinity of the city centre, and rivers flowing near it. An underrated place, in my opinion.
Rating: 8/10

The Serbian capital was one of the biggest surprise of the trip. The former yugoslavian city was not quite what I expected it to be. My image was that of a war torn nation, of broken walls, dilapidated structures .... yet, i was horribly wrong. This city rivals some of the most developed cities in the world, with its architectural style similar to that of highly developed nations. The city's landmark, the Kalemegdan fortress was a pleasant treat, ironic for the serene peace of the park inside a supposedly war-ravaged citadel. Flanked by the mighty Danube river and the gentle Sava river, a relaxing stroll in the citadel is sure to do wonders to the soul. One more thing to note: The water there is highly delicious.
Rating: 8/10

I remembered the Croatian capital as a highly clean and meticulous city, pretty much the same way i view Singapore. Tourist information in the place is easily available and the employees are helpful and always ready to serve. The capital itself boasts some great and cheap food, and the nearby town of Samobor is rather scenic and relaxing as well. But the highlight of this place has to be the Plitvice lakes National park. The colour of the water is something that you can only dream about, and the endless waterfalls and lakes brings away the dirt and burdens from living in urban estates.
Rating: 8.5/10

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

On Greece not Too long ago

Having visited many european cities long ago, this post shall serve to remind me of the major stops of my trip, and my thoughts on each of them.

Athens was the first major stop of the journey. Well, technically, I reached rome before athens, but our first day in rome was just restricted to the airport anyway, which wasnt very eventful, except for the fact that a new card game was born. Athens was... in my opinion, the worst stop of the trip. Not that it was horrible, but the others were simply better. Athens was just a normal city, sprinkled with pieces of archeological remains. Nothing spectacular though; the major landmark, acropolis was decent, but marred by the crowd and the rather hideous scaffolding. Worthwhile to visit once in your life, but nothing I've seen that will see you coming back for seconds. Oh wait, maybe the anchovies we tasted were enough. That's about it.
Rating: 6/10

Charming Hania was the second stop on the greece trip. Hania may be a small town, and it may not even feature on most traveller's plans, but it is one of my favourite places in greece. It has a certain quiet charm about it, a place far away from the hustle bustle of city life. It reminded me of Hallstatt (even though i still prefer hallstatt), picturesque, peaceful, and it resonates strongly with me. Other than the main town itself, the surroundings are also splendidly beautiful. Who could forget the nearby spendid beaches of kassimos and falarsarna; and of course the breathtaking samaria gorges? A real gem, in my opinion.
Rating: 9.5/10

Iraklios looks modern, but an interesting mix of industries, modern roads, and an ancient venetian harbour makes this a compulsory stop for anyone going to crete. I don't fancy the nearby overhyped minoan remains (not a fan of ruins), but the town itsel boost a harbour with a charm that can only be experienced if you go there yourself. A pretty decent place, in my opinion.
Rating: 7.5/10

Tourist-packed Santorini enjoyed numerous good reviews and raves about its beauty and it is for a good reason - this place is a compulsory visit for anyone doing the tour of Greek Islands. True enough, you must share the place with swarms of tourists, but these are not sufficient to take away the wonders of the caldera. A sunset here is a must; this place is a wonder for photographic enthusiasists. Do remember to take a trip up Ancient Thira though; the ruins up there are decent and gives a nice view of the black beaches below, which are pretty good in any way. Otherwise, just relax around the island and have fun being a tourist, just for the time you are there.
Rating: 8/10

Another touristy place, but well worth the effort to go there. The cliffs and the monasteries perched precariously on the rocks are a sight to behold, and who could forget the classic sight of seeing the whole town of kalambaka flanked by two gigantic rocks from way above? It just makes you want to shout down and hear the welcoming echo ricochet off the cliff. The visit to the monasteries is pleasant too; it gives you a serene feeling inside their holy adobe. This place just edges up Santorini, in my own opinion.
Rating: 8.5/10

This place, well known for its deserts, has a few worthwhile sights, like the white tower, sea promenade view, and the castle wall view from above. It has lots of ruins and old structures (rotunda etc) sprinkled within the city too, but these are not particularly appealing imho. The deserts are still better. =p
Rating: 7.5/10

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

I'm back finally from a long hiatus. It feels nostalgic... good.... yet kind of weird to be back here in this cyberspace.

Days have elapsed and events have zoomed by since my last 'active' appearance here. By 'active', of course I mean a proper post; not those personality tests i put up sporadically nor the brief post which appeared here last week. It feels nostalgic and good, because essentially, I'm one which feels at ease online. To blog is as instinctive as to eat or to sleep, and during the period which i didnt blog, i didnt really eat or sleep well either.

It feels weird too however. I can't really describe this feeling precisely; all I can say is that it felt exactly the same as the time when i recover from a broken leg. How I felt when I walked again after not walking for so long. The exact same feeling when i started playing my harmonica again after such a long break. I felt a bit uncomfortable, a bit hesitant... and everything is just so strange and uncertain.

Finally, it dawned on me that I really am one which really thrive on momentum. I gain strength as I do the same task repeatedly without rest. I like the feeling of having exams after exams, or work after work. The feeling of continuity, of familiarity. Even now, I am pondering over whether to take my GRE. A long break from exams has dulled my sharpness, and my familiarity with the system. Unlike the smarter or more adaptable people I've known who has little difficulty settling into a different routine, I really have quite a long pick up time.

Even as I'm writing this post, i'm unsure of myself. Sure enough, I still have the ideas, I still retain my ability to think. But the ability to write has somehow become a bit distant to me. I struggle to find words to express my ideas succinctly even though my vocabulary is no less than it was several months ago. I pondered over whether I should blog about certain things or not. Yet, deep inside, I'm still confident. Confident that I'll be able to write comfortably and happily, and regain my love for writing within a short period of time.

Sure enough, my writing style may change, my ideas, my views, my thoughts may change. But I'm still the same person, and may this blog track the evolution of myself in the days to come, and bring back memories to me many years from now.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009


Im back, blog. And I'll visit you once a week from now on.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009










Saturday, July 19, 2008

What Chen Shaoqiang Means

You are very open. You communicate well, and you connect with other people easily.

You are a naturally creative person. Ideas just flow from your mind.

A true chameleon, you are many things at different points in your life. You are very adaptable.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.

Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.

Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone.

You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together.

At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.

You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.

You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.

You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.

You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.

You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.

You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.

At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.

People see you as a complete enigma, and only you truly understand who you are.

You spend most of your time introspecting and seeking truth.

You're a very interesting person... but not many people know you enough to realize it.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.

You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.

You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are deeply philosophical and thoughtful. You tend to analyze every aspect of your life.

You are intuitive, brilliant, and quite introverted. You value your time alone.

Often times, you are grumpy with other people. You don't appreciate them trying to interfere in your affairs.

Friday, February 01, 2008

Chinese New Year

In recent years, Chinese new year has become a festival i dread. Given the choice, i would rather be back in the comfort of my guard rest bunk, slogging out at duty, than face the irritating questions asked during chinese new year, and of course, wishing other people well when the intent is not meant from the heart.

This was not the case when i was young. Then, all festivals are occasions for feasting and playing, and of course Chinese New Year has the added benefit of injecting cash into the starving piggy bank. True, irritating questions existed back then too, but a child generally do not take such matters to heart.

Look what Chinese New Year has become now. A chance for professors to pile heaps on work on our pathetic bodies and souls, a chance for hypocrites to showcase their talents, to engage in shallow talks, those of formality and well wishes. A good occasion to go on insane shoppings, to break those fragile arms and legs, and to engage in menial tasks that includes everything from painting the walls to scrubbing the yucky toilets.

And what about the aftermath of chinese new year? The clearing up of all the nuts, the sweets, the foods that nobody wants to touch. The guilt of putting on sinful pounds, and the honour of playing hosts to the germs and bacteria that cause sore throats.

A festive season? Not an apt description after all.

Friday, January 18, 2008


Extraversion is marked by pronounced engagement with the external world. Extraverts enjoy being with people, are full of energy, and often experience positive emotions. They tend to be enthusiastic, action-oriented, individuals who are likely to say "Yes!" or "Let's go!" to opportunities for excitement. In groups they like to talk, assert themselves, and draw attention to themselves.

Introverts lack the exuberance, energy, and activity levels of extraverts. They tend to be quiet, low-key, deliberate, and disengaged from the social world. Their lack of social involvement should not be interpreted as shyness or depression; the introvert simply needs less stimulation than an extravert and prefers to be alone. The independence and reserve of the introvert is sometimes mistaken as unfriendliness or arrogance. In reality, an introvert who scores high on the agreeableness dimension will not seek others out but will be quite pleasant when approached.

Domain/Facet........... Score





Activity Level...........29



Your score on Extraversion is average, indicating you are neither a subdued loner nor a jovial chatterbox. You enjoy time with others but also time alone.

Extraversion Facets

Friendliness. Friendly people genuinely like other people and openly demonstrate positive feelings toward others. They make friends quickly and it is easy for them to form close, intimate relationships. Low scorers on Friendliness are not necessarily cold and hostile, but they do not reach out to others and are perceived as distant and reserved. Your level of friendliness is average.
Gregariousness. Gregarious people find the company of others pleasantly stimulating and rewarding. They enjoy the excitement of crowds. Low scorers tend to feel overwhelmed by, and therefore actively avoid, large crowds. They do not necessarily dislike being with people sometimes, but their need for privacy and time to themselves is much greater than for individuals who score high on this scale. Your level of gregariousness is average.
Assertiveness. High scorers Assertiveness like to speak out, take charge, and direct the activities of others. They tend to be leaders in groups. Low scorers tend not to talk much and let others control the activities of groups. Your level of assertiveness is average.
Activity Level. Active individuals lead fast-paced, busy lives. They move about quickly, energetically, and vigorously, and they are involved in many activities. People who score low on this scale follow a slower and more leisurely, relaxed pace. Your activity level is low.
Excitement-Seeking. High scorers on this scale are easily bored without high levels of stimulation. They love bright lights and hustle and bustle. They are likely to take risks and seek thrills. Low scorers are overwhelmed by noise and commotion and are adverse to thrill-seeking. Your level of excitement-seeking is high.
Cheerfulness. This scale measures positive mood and feelings, not negative emotions (which are a part of the Neuroticism domain). Persons who score high on this scale typically experience a range of positive feelings, including happiness, enthusiasm, optimism, and joy. Low scorers are not as prone to such energetic, high spirits. Your level of positive emotions is high.

Agreeableness reflects individual differences in concern with cooperation and social harmony. Agreeable individuals value getting along with others. They are therefore considerate, friendly, generous, helpful, and willing to compromise their interests with others'. Agreeable people also have an optimistic view of human nature. They believe people are basically honest, decent, and trustworthy.

Disagreeable individuals place self-interest above getting along with others. They are generally unconcerned with others' well-being, and therefore are unlikely to extend themselves for other people. Sometimes their skepticism about others' motives causes them to be suspicious, unfriendly, and uncooperative.

Agreeableness is obviously advantageous for attaining and maintaining popularity. Agreeable people are better liked than disagreeable people. On the other hand, agreeableness is not useful in situations that require tough or absolute objective decisions. Disagreeable people can make excellent scientists, critics, or soldiers.

Domain/Facet........... Score








Your level of Agreeableness is average, indicating some concern with others' Needs, but, generally, unwillingness to sacrifice yourself for others.

Agreeableness Facets

Trust. A person with high trust assumes that most people are fair, honest, and have good intentions. Persons low in trust see others as selfish, devious, and potentially dangerous. Your level of trust is high.
Morality. High scorers on this scale see no need for pretense or manipulation when dealing with others and are therefore candid, frank, and sincere. Low scorers believe that a certain amount of deception in social relationships is necessary. People find it relatively easy to relate to the straightforward high-scorers on this scale. They generally find it more difficult to relate to the unstraightforward low-scorers on this scale. It should be made clear that low scorers are not unprincipled or immoral; they are simply more guarded and less willing to openly reveal the whole truth. Your level of morality is low.
Altruism. Altruistic people find helping other people genuinely rewarding. Consequently, they are generally willing to assist those who are in need. Altruistic people find that doing things for others is a form of self-fulfillment rather than self-sacrifice. Low scorers on this scale do not particularly like helping those in need. Requests for help feel like an imposition rather than an opportunity for self-fulfillment. Your level of altruism is high.
Cooperation. Individuals who score high on this scale dislike confrontations. They are perfectly willing to compromise or to deny their own needs in order to get along with others. Those who score low on this scale are more likely to intimidate others to get their way. Your level of compliance is low.
Modesty. High scorers on this scale do not like to claim that they are better than other people. In some cases this attitude may derive from low self-confidence or self-esteem. Nonetheless, some people with high self-esteem find immodesty unseemly. Those who are willing to describe themselves as superior tend to be seen as disagreeably arrogant by other people. Your level of modesty is average.
Sympathy. People who score high on this scale are tenderhearted and compassionate. They feel the pain of others vicariously and are easily moved to pity. Low scorers are not affected strongly by human suffering. They pride themselves on making objective judgments based on reason. They are more concerned with truth and impartial justice than with mercy. Your level of tender-mindedness is average.

Conscientiousness concerns the way in which we control, regulate, and direct our impulses. Impulses are not inherently bad; occasionally time constraints require a snap decision, and acting on our first impulse can be an effective response. Also, in times of play rather than work, acting spontaneously and impulsively can be fun. Impulsive individuals can be seen by others as colorful, fun-to-be-with, and zany.

Nonetheless, acting on impulse can lead to trouble in a number of ways. Some impulses are antisocial. Uncontrolled antisocial acts not only harm other members of society, but also can result in retribution toward the perpetrator of such impulsive acts. Another problem with impulsive acts is that they often produce immediate rewards but undesirable, long-term consequences. Examples include excessive socializing that leads to being fired from one's job, hurling an insult that causes the breakup of an important relationship, or using pleasure-inducing drugs that eventually destroy one's health.

Impulsive behavior, even when not seriously destructive, diminishes a person's effectiveness in significant ways. Acting impulsively disallows contemplating alternative courses of action, some of which would have been wiser than the impulsive choice. Impulsivity also sidetracks people during projects that require organized sequences of steps or stages. Accomplishments of an impulsive person are therefore small, scattered, and inconsistent.

A hallmark of intelligence, what potentially separates human beings from earlier life forms, is the ability to think about future consequences before acting on an impulse. Intelligent activity involves contemplation of long-range goals, organizing and planning routes to these goals, and persisting toward one's goals in the face of short-lived impulses to the contrary. The idea that intelligence involves impulse control is nicely captured by the term prudence, an alternative label for the Conscientiousness domain. Prudent means both wise and cautious. Persons who score high on the Conscientiousness scale are, in fact, perceived by others as intelligent.

The benefits of high conscientiousness are obvious. Conscientious individuals avoid trouble and achieve high levels of success through purposeful planning and persistence. They are also positively regarded by others as intelligent and reliable. On the negative side, they can be compulsive perfectionists and workaholics. Furthermore, extremely conscientious individuals might be regarded as stuffy and boring. Unconscientious people may be criticized for their unreliability, lack of ambition, and failure to stay within the lines, but they will experience many short-lived pleasures and they will never be called stuffy.

Domain/Facet........... Score








Your score on Conscientiousness is low, indicating you like to live for the moment and do what feels good now. Your work tends to be careless and disorganized.

Conscientiousness Facets

Self-Efficacy. Self-Efficacy describes confidence in one's ability to accomplish things. High scorers believe they have the intelligence (common sense), drive, and self-control necessary for achieving success. Low scorers do not feel effective, and may have a sense that they are not in control of their lives. Your level of self-efficacy is high.
Orderliness. Persons with high scores on orderliness are well-organized. They like to live according to routines and schedules. They keep lists and make plans. Low scorers tend to be disorganized and scattered. Your level of orderliness is low.
Dutifulness. This scale reflects the strength of a person's sense of duty and obligation. Those who score high on this scale have a strong sense of moral obligation. Low scorers find contracts, rules, and regulations overly confining. They are likely to be seen as unreliable or even irresponsible. Your level of dutifulness is average.
Achievement-Striving. Individuals who score high on this scale strive hard to achieve excellence. Their drive to be recognized as successful keeps them on track toward their lofty goals. They often have a strong sense of direction in life, but extremely high scores may be too single-minded and obsessed with their work. Low scorers are content to get by with a minimal amount of work, and might be seen by others as lazy. Your level of achievement striving is average.
Self-Discipline. Self-discipline-what many people call will-power-refers to the ability to persist at difficult or unpleasant tasks until they are completed. People who possess high self-discipline are able to overcome reluctance to begin tasks and stay on track despite distractions. Those with low self-discipline procrastinate and show poor follow-through, often failing to complete tasks-even tasks they want very much to complete. Your level of self-discipline is low.
Cautiousness. Cautiousness describes the disposition to think through possibilities before acting. High scorers on the Cautiousness scale take their time when making decisions. Low scorers often say or do first thing that comes to mind without deliberating alternatives and the probable consequences of those alternatives. Your level of cautiousness is average.

Freud originally used the term neurosis to describe a condition marked by mental distress, emotional suffering, and an inability to cope effectively with the normal demands of life. He suggested that everyone shows some signs of neurosis, but that we differ in our degree of suffering and our specific symptoms of distress. Today neuroticism refers to the tendency to experience negative feelings. Those who score high on Neuroticism may experience primarily one specific negative feeling such as anxiety, anger, or depression, but are likely to experience several of these emotions. People high in neuroticism are emotionally reactive. They respond emotionally to events that would not affect most people, and their reactions tend to be more intense than normal. They are more likely to interpret ordinary situations as threatening, and minor frustrations as hopelessly difficult. Their negative emotional reactions tend to persist for unusually long periods of time, which means they are often in a bad mood. These problems in emotional regulation can diminish a neurotic's ability to think clearly, make decisions, and cope effectively with stress.

At the other end of the scale, individuals who score low in neuroticism are less easily upset and are less emotionally reactive. They tend to be calm, emotionally stable, and free from persistent negative feelings. Freedom from negative feelings does not mean that low scorers experience a lot of positive feelings; frequency of positive emotions is a component of the Extraversion domain.

Domain/Facet........... Score








Your score on Neuroticism is average, indicating that your level of emotional reactivity is typical of the general population. Stressful and frustrating situations are somewhat upsetting to you, but you are generally able to get over these feelings and cope with these situations.

Neuroticism Facets

Anxiety. The "fight-or-flight" system of the brain of anxious individuals is too easily and too often engaged. Therefore, people who are high in anxiety often feel like something dangerous is about to happen. They may be afraid of specific situations or be just generally fearful. They feel tense, jittery, and nervous. Persons low in Anxiety are generally calm and fearless. Your level of anxiety is average.
Anger. Persons who score high in Anger feel enraged when things do not go their way. They are sensitive about being treated fairly and feel resentful and bitter when they feel they are being cheated. This scale measures the tendency to feel angry; whether or not the person expresses annoyance and hostility depends on the individual's level on Agreeableness. Low scorers do not get angry often or easily. Your level of anger is low.
Depression. This scale measures the tendency to feel sad, dejected, and discouraged. High scorers lack energy and have difficult initiating activities. Low scorers tend to be free from these depressive feelings. Your level of depression is average.
Self-Consciousness. Self-conscious individuals are sensitive about what others think of them. Their concern about rejection and ridicule cause them to feel shy and uncomfortable abound others. They are easily embarrassed and often feel ashamed. Their fears that others will criticize or make fun of them are exaggerated and unrealistic, but their awkwardness and discomfort may make these fears a self-fulfilling prophecy. Low scorers, in contrast, do not suffer from the mistaken impression that everyone is watching and judging them. They do not feel nervous in social situations. Your level or self-consciousness is high.
Immoderation. Immoderate individuals feel strong cravings and urges that they have difficulty resisting. They tend to be oriented toward short-term pleasures and rewards rather than long- term consequences. Low scorers do not experience strong, irresistible cravings and consequently do not find themselves tempted to overindulge. Your level of immoderation is low.
Vulnerability. High scorers on Vulnerability experience panic, confusion, and helplessness when under pressure or stress. Low scorers feel more poised, confident, and clear-thinking when stressed. Your level of vulnerability is average.
Openness to Experience

Openness to Experience describes a dimension of cognitive style that distinguishes imaginative, creative people from down-to-earth, conventional people. Open people are intellectually curious, appreciative of art, and sensitive to beauty. They tend to be, compared to closed people, more aware of their feelings. They tend to think and act in individualistic and nonconforming ways. Intellectuals typically score high on Openness to Experience; consequently, this factor has also been called Culture or Intellect. Nonetheless, Intellect is probably best regarded as one aspect of openness to experience. Scores on Openness to Experience are only modestly related to years of education and scores on standard intelligent tests.

Another characteristic of the open cognitive style is a facility for thinking in symbols and abstractions far removed from concrete experience. Depending on the individual's specific intellectual abilities, this symbolic cognition may take the form of mathematical, logical, or geometric thinking, artistic and metaphorical use of language, music composition or performance, or one of the many visual or performing arts. People with low scores on openness to experience tend to have narrow, common interests. They prefer the plain, straightforward, and obvious over the complex, ambiguous, and subtle. They may regard the arts and sciences with suspicion, regarding these endeavors as abstruse or of no practical use. Closed people prefer familiarity over novelty; they are conservative and resistant to change.

Openness is often presented as healthier or more mature by psychologists, who are often themselves open to experience. However, open and closed styles of thinking are useful in different environments. The intellectual style of the open person may serve a professor well, but research has shown that closed thinking is related to superior job performance in police work, sales, and a number of service occupations.

Domain/Facet........... Score

Openness to experience.....87


Artistic Interests.......86





Your score on Openness to Experience is high, indicating you enjoy novelty, variety, and change. You are curious, imaginative, and creative.

Openness Facets

Imagination. To imaginative individuals, the real world is often too plain and ordinary. High scorers on this scale use fantasy as a way of creating a richer, more interesting world. Low scorers are on this scale are more oriented to facts than fantasy. Your level of imagination is high.
Artistic Interests. High scorers on this scale love beauty, both in art and in nature. They become easily involved and absorbed in artistic and natural events. They are not necessarily artistically trained nor talented, although many will be. The defining features of this scale are interest in, and appreciation of natural and artificial beauty. Low scorers lack aesthetic sensitivity and interest in the arts. Your level of artistic interests is high.
Emotionality. Persons high on Emotionality have good access to and awareness of their own feelings. Low scorers are less aware of their feelings and tend not to express their emotions openly. Your level of emotionality is high.
Adventurousness. High scorers on adventurousness are eager to try new activities, travel to foreign lands, and experience different things. They find familiarity and routine boring, and will take a new route home just because it is different. Low scorers tend to feel uncomfortable with change and prefer familiar routines. Your level of adventurousness is average.
Intellect. Intellect and artistic interests are the two most important, central aspects of openness to experience. High scorers on Intellect love to play with ideas. They are open-minded to new and unusual ideas, and like to debate intellectual issues. They enjoy riddles, puzzles, and brain teasers. Low scorers on Intellect prefer dealing with either people or things rather than ideas. They regard intellectual exercises as a waste of time. Intellect should not be equated with intelligence. Intellect is an intellectual style, not an intellectual ability, although high scorers on Intellect score slightly higher than low-Intellect individuals on standardized intelligence tests. Your level of intellect is high.
Liberalism. Psychological liberalism refers to a readiness to challenge authority, convention, and traditional values. In its most extreme form, psychological liberalism can even represent outright hostility toward rules, sympathy for law-breakers, and love of ambiguity, chaos, and disorder. Psychological conservatives prefer the security and stability brought by conformity to tradition. Psychological liberalism and conservatism are not identical to political affiliation, but certainly incline individuals toward certain political parties. Your level of liberalism is high.


Been a long time since i last updated. Let me see... the last time i updated was... last year.

That is a dreadfully long time, and many things has passed since then. A new year has dawned, gatherings have come and gone, work has started and finished, new job assignments and challenges have been taken on for the new year, records have been broken, a new semester has commenced, people has been treading on my toes.

There are in fact, too many things for me to blog about, and as i stare at the computer screen right now, the things come to me in a swirl, fast, but unable to pick up any tangible form. I shall refrain from blogging about past events with my diminishing memory of things, which will prove to distort the events, moreover, they passed so long ago, that it is no point recalling these memories from their hidden places in my mind. Well, food must be served when piping hot, and there is absolutely no point in eating some cold dishes.

I digress. Basically, I realised that events will all pass, what is important is the part that is left in you. To many, a gathering is just a gathering; to some, it is a time of reminiscing about the times shared; to others, it may be a realization of the inadequacies of interpersonal communication, and how you want to be a better friend to others. Every road, is just a path, but the lessons behind it are the ones that makes the path a worthwhile walk.

Blogging is, in fact, a very good from of reflection, which is why i did not blog for so long, i rarely have the luxury of sitting down and reflecting, with so many thoughts swirling wildly in my head, and disturbing any inner peace. I do not want to do injustice by blogging mindlessly.

Oh, yet i am now, blogging with a limited time and a half-clear mind. Oh well, humans are such complex and contradictory creatures sometimes.

From some website

Openness to Experience/Intellect

High scorers tend to be original, creative, curious, complex; Low scorers tend to be conventional, down to earth, narrow interests, uncreative.
You enjoy having novel experiences and seeing things in new ways. (Your percentile: 93)


High scorers tend to be reliable, well-organized, self-disciplined, careful; Low scorers tend to be disorganized, undependable, negligent.
You tend to do things somewhat haphazardly. (Your percentile: 21)


High scorers tend to be sociable, friendly, fun loving, talkative; Low scorers tend to be introverted, reserved, inhibited, quiet.
You tend to shy away from social situations. (Your percentile: 27)


High scorers tend to be good natured, sympathetic, forgiving, courteous; Low scorers tend to be critical, rude, harsh, callous.
You tend to consider the feelings of others. (Your percentile: 63)


High scorers tend to be nervous, high-strung, insecure, worrying; Low scorers tend to be calm, relaxed, secure, hardy.
You are generally relaxed. (Your percentile: 22)

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Its over. Didnt really do well, but thank god it is over. Just hope that i have done sufficiently well in the first 2 years to tide me over this crisis.

Friday, November 02, 2007


The time of the year for reflection has repentence has come. Sit down, meditate, and think about what you have done for the past year.


Tuesday, October 30, 2007


In view of certain moderation practices carried out by some pple, i feel inclined to give my personal views on moderation.

Rules of moderation
1) In any moderation, the order of marks should be preserved. That means if A orignally possesses marks higher than B, the same order should follow after moderation.
2) In any moderation, people with equal marks before the moderation should end up with equal marks after moderation.
3) In any moderation, no one should suffer any decrease of marks! This defeats the purpose of moderation in the first place.

In view of this, to moderate a paper by choosing certain best questions is definitely a no-no, for it violates principle 2. If certain questions are set as compulsory and others as optional, it only makes things worse as this will violate principle 1,2, and 3!

When the government gives out bonus packages, true, there are people that get very little money. But none actually need to pay fine to the government. (analogous to decrease in marks after moderation). To violate this rule would be a huge injustice and goes against human rights and logic.

It is ok to have a skewed moderation (like taking root then * 10), for the above principles will be obeyed, just that some people benefit more than others. But to have a moderation that punishes some people, is simply unreasonable.

Life is certainly never fair, but it definitely helps if we do our part to make sure the situation does not get worse than it currently is.

Thursday, October 25, 2007


There are always events that erodes away his faith. Boo.


There are times in one's life when he loses focus. When he feels lost, stranded and doesnt know which way to go. Different people come and offer different advice, but he doesn't know who is right. He's afraid of going down the wrong road, the wrong path. As a result, he doesnt step out at all and gets stuck in his current horrendous position.

He needs to await the return of his instincts, his confidence, and his judgement, which has so abandon him without any apparent reason. How long does he have to wait? Maybe by the time they arrive, a serpent could have come and swallowed him up, or a ferocious tiger would have reduced him to bones.

In these moments, he can only draw his strength from faith, and believe that everything will be alright.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

If i die......

If now at this moment i were to die,
Would you be depressed and would you be sad?
Would you have tears on your face, would you cry?
Despite me being such a heartless cad?

If now at this moment i were to die,
Would you forget all the times ive been bad?
Would you kiss me the very last goodbye
As on every night you have always had?

If now at this moment i were to die,
Would you instead cheer and be very glad?
Would you forget me after just a sigh?
This is the worst nightmare I truly dread.

But if at this moment you were to die,
I know, I would really cry my eyes dry.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

A logic argument of my own

"Memories are so heart wrenching because if they are about happy things, it makes you wonder why those times didnt last. Well, if they are about sad things, of course they will make you miserable when you think of them."

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Saturday, October 06, 2007


Sigh... I really find it very hard to motivate myself this semester.

Sometimes, perhaps, scoring well for previous semesters may not be such a good thing after all. It saps your drive to do work, saps the desire to excel. You start questioning yourself, why should i work so hard. It doesnt even mke a significant difference, does it?

But the problem is, minimal effort and 0 effort are totally different. Sometimes, i really fear that at the rate i am going, i may not even be able to pass some of the modules.

zzzzzz. Oh well. life goes on. The only thing i can do for is pray for the return of mr motivation.

Friday, September 28, 2007


I want to play bball till the day my legs give up on me. Really.


I haven't blogged for some time, as im busy with various things since i came back from US, so did not really have the luxury of blogging.

I must confess that a lot of things ive done recently aren't really things that should be done by a totally moral person. Yes, a lot of things fall into the grey area where there does not exist a definite right-wrong judgement, but if you ask me the same things 10 years ago, they will definitely belong to a banned list of actions.

I feel myself slowly being corrupted, by a devil which grows stronger inside me. But an argument tells me that this is a byprocess of growing up, to accept sins that were once deemed unforgiveable, to act in a way that was once inconceivable. To accept social ills as part and parcel of life, and not sticking to your original beliefs of what is right.

Yet, the scariest part is that conscience no longer seem to have an overpowering counteracting force on my actions. Yes, certain things weigh on my conscience for a while, but they fade away as fast as a sunset ends, and the whole cycle repeats itself. It is scary, and i fear im losing myself.

I think part of it stems from my lack of drive for work, which is a sin in itself. Felt very lethargic, no drive to work, the brain prefers to laze around and seek happiness for itself. Work piling up, crying desperately for my attention, which i turned a deaf ear to. What used to be a pleasure, the gaining of novel knowledge, now plays second fiddle to lower forms of human enjoyment.

Even what i write is so incoherent, i laughed to myself as i reread my previous paragraphs... so uncharacteristic of my normal writing.

I must find some inner force to lift me into redemption, or continue to sink into my present path of transient mortal pleasure but eternal mental misery and struggle.

I pray.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007


Work hasnt been going successfully so far. It seems as though the whole world refues to cooperate with me. Miss Liquid Crystals played truant and failed to turn up at our laboratory, Mr NMR machine decides to go on strike and gladly abandon me, and Sir Reactions just dont want to cooperate with me.

But i guess life still goes on. In fact, i was wondering, should i care at all? It is not as though i really want to go into research when i grow up; i don't really need a testimonial or letter of referral from them anyway. Who cares as long as i can face up to my conscience and did some work?

But the big problem is can i realli justify myself into slacking? If there is anything bad about me, it would be my overwhelming sense of responsibility. I cant justify myself into letting something go wrong when i have, some ability to change the situation as it is.

But again, im a lazy person. Oh well the world is not fair. i guess i just have to suffer some guilt in exchange for the happiness in slacking. Equivalent exchange eh?

Wednesday, July 18, 2007


Oei, dun spoil the machine leh... please leh, give chance.. like dat i cannot do any work i sibei paiseh leh...come here take free money...

Thursday, July 05, 2007


gave up writing in chinese... haha found myself too inadequately educated in the language to give an account of things that happened. Shall blog in singlish, my most comfortable. =)

Been busy working on my project. i think im getting the hang of running spectroscopy... haha really fun once you know how. Well... the nature of science projects is such that you cannot expect results all the time (not like engineering), which gets on me sometimes... but im slowly learning to enjoy the process... it is fun to discover roads not previously treaded by others, to work on the discovery side rather than the modelling and empirical results-fitting side... i guess... this experience is good afterall.

I tink im starting to figure out wats so fascinating about chemistry. To synthesise a new product not previously discovered... does that make one seem like a god? To obtain results and discoveries previously unknown to the human race, it does make one feel good to broaden the knowledge base of the human race.

Went out to los angeles downtown this weekend. hollywood was nothing fascinating, but long beach was quite a serene place. Guess im more of a nature person, a 'zen' person, as my fren likes to put it. A nice round moon, a picturesque sunset, calm waters, birds hovering around, stars shining brightly in the cloudless skies... i could just spend hours lazing around.

I happened to be there for the anime exposition as well. Really excited to see cosplayers (they are realli good, the resemblence is uncanny), yeah.. i wonder y it is not as popular in singapore. Well, i wouldnt mind dressing up as an anime character... haha.

Saturday, June 16, 2007


来了这里好久,却还不知道我应该是要做什么,呵呵。 虽然说没有人强迫你做任何事情,但是这种无推动的工作,却是最可怕的。不知道该如何开始,彷徨无助,一边想要放弃,责任感却不应许自己这么做。


Monday, June 11, 2007




Friday, June 08, 2007

Essay (Continued)

haha almost cleared out this junk when i am clearing my cupboard. ok here it is:

He munched at the biscuits his friend passed him, lying silently on the hard uncomfortable bed. He groaned as he stretched his weary legs. One more day gone, he thought to himself. Six more days and he can go home and see his family.... and Faith. He just saw her yesterday, but it seems like an eternity since he saw her. But he doesn't know whether he is that eager to see Faith. His own eagerness to see her has been mixed with a kind of confusion, awkwardness. How should I face her? How should i react? He pondered.

He was so deeply engrossed in his own thoughts, he did not hear someone calling him. It was his bunkmate, Zeld.

"So late already still not sleeping ar..."
"Oh sorry, I didn't notice you."
"What are you thinking about, your girlfriend?"
"No la" he answered plainly. He wasn't really that close to him, and he did not want to reveal unnecessary information.
"Don't bluff la... if not girlfriend where got think until so serious one..."
"No I didn't lie to you. I wouldn't lie to you". He said honestly.

To be continued

Wednesday, June 06, 2007


Ah... if anybody is wondering what i am doing for the past couple of weeks, other than the usual work, meet friends stuff, i have been occupying myself with the following. (oh maybe to u these activities are damn common, but i dun do them during term time)

1) Watching dramas on youtube and asian tv.
Ah... this is fun. Seriously i really feel that watching tv and dramas is the most brainless activity ever. Just stone there and stare at the idiot box, absorbed into the fictional world and believing the most ridiculous things that can even happen, at least while the eyes are glued to the screen. Well, itis the holidays now, so no one can blame me for indulging in such stupid activities... hahaha.

2) Playing MSN games
Haha...thanks to some people, i have started playing msn games again. although not as sophisicated as those mega rpg or other games out there, it is in fact more interesting and has higher replay value. true enuff, the company is important, but maybe, perhaps, like life, the best things out there are still the simplest things. Who says a good game must be something like warcraft 3? Minesweeper flags beat it hands down.

3) Reading fighting novels (Chinese)
Due to my recent fascination with a certain actress who acts in the return of the condor heroes. (liu yifei kerbaba...) Started reading up on all those chinese fighting novels again. Pretty interesting.

4) Watching TV
Haha... seriously i dun watch much TV normally. But i indulged on it this holidays. watched almost every drama i can. first on the list is the channel 8 7pm show. 原点was not a bad drama, other den felicia chin's not so good acting. The songs of the show were good and appropriate, and a lot of things which are said in the show brought me to a lot of thinking.

The 9pm show was not too shabby either. 幸福双人床 was a good show, sprinkled with moments of humour and of cos love. its successor, 爱,特别的你 is oso another mai hiam buay pai show... haha kids do appeal to me, not dat im paedophilic or something.

Ah and then got this afternoon show 230pm one. Wah damn nice show i will miss it when im in US... haha. of cos there is return of the condor heroes and tian long ba bu, with my favourite liu yifei; on sunday nights also got this repeated chinese drama about hell one... haha damn funny and cock show, the way i like it.

5) Clearing stuff
Oh i spent time weeding out rubbish from my cupboard this few days.. heehee... and found a few gems... some photos and old letters and presents.. sibei nostalgic... haha.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

A long time since i blogged...

It has been a long time since i blogged. Caught up with things, been busy doing things i'm supposed to be doing.


a promise is a promise. Since i've promised some pple dat i would get an entry up by this weekend, here is a post of some things dat i feel like tokin about.

Exam results
This sucks. I know im still better den a lot of pple, but still it sucks. The worse thing is that although it sucks, it never sucks that much, and i end up losing 4 earthquakes.... hahaha. As usual, exam results were not within expectations, modules which i tink i fluffed end up scoring ok, while modules i tink i did well end up like shit. Oh well.

Wonder why im going to talk about GEP? Well, had a series of email exchanges with a JC teacher of mine (dont worry ill protect ur identity here.. hahaa). Supposed to be asking her something, but ended up into a discussion on GEP, life and singapore. Haha... pretty interesting, considering how i feel that the program was a failure, yet undoubtedly, those few years of my life has been filled with happiness that are slowly eluding me as i step into the adult world.

If u ask me why gep is good, i can only say that the program itself may not be at all amazing, but when u put a bunch of like-minded pple who (tink they) are very smart, sparks fly, and u have ridiculous things happening day in day out. While some of these activities may not be looked upon favourably by the school and even by other pple, at least in the deviant minds of some, yah, they are damn fun.

Did some misc work here and there. Ending work at a tuition centre to move on with other things in my life. Will miss the bunch of kids there, and more importantly, you, my dear colleagues down there. Though my encounter with some of you were brief, this unique group of diverse background will always be remembered by me for you walked into my life at some points or others.

Been busy settling a lot of things for overseas. Efficiencies at certain places/embassies were not exactly what i would call wonderful. Perhaps this is because in Singapore, waiting is a torture. In this fast pace city, how can one relax and wait for a few hours for some stupid pointless things with a peaceful and patient heart. Ineffective regulations should instead be cast away for a faster and more effective system.

K. shall continue soon.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Wednesday, March 14, 2007


Sometimes i am really at a loss for words to describe my dearest coursemates.

If you tell me this batch is the elite of singapore, the future leaders of singapore, yar i can tell you one sure thing, more sure than the fact the earth revolves round the sun

-- Singapore future gonefuck liao.

Just because the tutor is nice to you doesnt give you the excuse to capitalise on his kindness. As if taking his kindness for granted is not enough, you proceed to take advantage of him. Being a tutor, he has every right to scold you, to chase you out, to lose his temper, to do nasty things to you. Yet, he didnt.

However, when he suggests things, rightful things that you ought to follow, you don't listen. Not only do you not listen, you smile smile at him. One shameless one even has the cheek to tell him why she cannot stay. Another one has the cheek to tell him that his friend reserved seat for him.

Yar i tell u something, i , who has a rightful place in the class, is denied the opportunity to learn effectively because of you selfish bastards. I who rightfully balloted for this slot is to compromise my studies because of the selfishness and low EQ of the whole load of shit. I would have gladly gone for other slots had my timetable allowed, but no, i can't, and have to sacrifice for the convenience of you.

I am not against crashing other classes - if it does not affect the others. But the number of you doing it, the reaction of you when kena scolding, the lack of respect you have for your tutor, the selffishness, the shamelessness, the capitalising on human kindness and the repeated occurence week in week out only tells me something.

U dun deserve my respect. Only my contempt.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Waiting for ip

Sometimes, in the midst of a hectic schedule, it is good to just sit down and relax.

It may be only 2 hours plus, but it is fun playing mahjong. To sit down at the table, talk nonsense and entertain each other with the usual slapstick humour. To be temporarily freed from the immense stress building up in me due to frustrations at things and at people.

"You sibei unfriendly leh." A single statement brought me to think a lot. I admit that sometimes when i am busy doing my things, i can be very unfriendly, on a very good day, and on most day, i can be quite hostile. You can come into my room, keep asking me to talk to you, and yar, i can still be busy typing away an assignment on the computer screen.

I just hate to be disturbed when i am deep in my thoughts, cause once i break the momentum, the idea goes into perpetual hibernation at the back of my head. And i don't like the feeling. The thought gnawing at the back of your head that you ONCE remembered something bu now forgot. Very very unsettling feeling.

But im still glad that you are there to act as feedback control, to pull me away from the stress every now and then. To engage in a game of mahjong with my family, to watch a TV program together, to listen to the untouched collections of music, or to simply talk rubbish, yeah, you help me control that ever overflowing container of stress.

And oh yea, if you are wondering, the title is so called cause i am waiting for ip now. and so here i ends...

Friday, March 09, 2007

You Have a Melancholic Temperament

Introspective and reflective, you think about everything and anything.
You are a soft-hearted daydreamer. You long for your ideal life.
You love silence and solitude. Everyday life is usually too chaotic for you.

Given enough time alone, it's easy for you to find inner peace.
You tend to be spiritual, having found your own meaning of life.
Wise and patient, you can help people through difficult times.

At your worst, you brood and sulk. Your negative thoughts can trap you.
You are reserved and withdrawn. This makes it hard to connect to others.
You tend to over think small things, making decisions difficult.

Thursday, March 08, 2007


Was discussing something with a friend just now.

Even though (as usual) the dialogue was disrupted by rubbish and nonsense, some truths remain in the dialogue.

The truth is, i really wished i had the enthusiasm of youth.

I may not be old, but my motivation level has dipped to an all time low. 4 years of secondary school and 2 years of JC may be long, but i can say at least i enjoyed those days. I can say that, then, sometimes, doing homework can be a joy.

Where are the days when i can do work in advance? When i look forward to actually getting a challenging piece of work that stimulates the mind?

Nope. Non existent now. Now, the keyword is copy. Maximal gains for minimal efforts? Is that what is really so important? Is it really better to copy a piece of work then to really spend a whole day trying to figure out some problems? Scoring high marks, is that really so important?

If you ask me, i rather prefer the days where learning is so pure; where marks do not serve as the primary motivation for work, but rather, just the zest for the academic subject.

Now if you tell someone that you are doing work that have no grades, ya, there will only be one response. ya. Your brain got problem.

Monday, March 05, 2007

Reading blogs has become an addictive past-time. And, so i am now, aimlessly surfing through blogs, when, there is so much work to be done.

Oh well.
Sometimes, i really hate to work on a group project.

Maybe, that's because i am anti-social, maybe because i am just a perfectionist, a control freak who wants things done his/her way.

However, if i were to describe myself in the above-mentioned way, a lot more people will be 1000 times worse off than me. Happy-go-lucky best describes me, and i have little expectations on others, as i believe that each has his right to live his own life as he desired.

Not if it interferes and affect my life though. As I'm fond of saying, you can do whatever shit you want and i wouldn't care a damn, even if you commit some heinous crimes unless 1) You are important in my life. 2) The shit you do affect me personally.

Obviously, for majority of the population out there, they have to belong to category 2 (as the pple i care a shit about are very few). And yet, category 2 is the hardest category because im a peaceful person who doesnt like to stir shit up with pple, especially not with pple who i am not well-acquainted with (as I have no idea to anticipate any cascaded response to outbursts).

I have very few expectations, you don't have to be smart, don't have to be a genius. Just show me some form of responsibility, a teeny-weeny bit of effort and commitment, and i won't be complaining so much.

Is that really so hard?

Thursday, February 15, 2007


As the cold wind blows,
the wind chimes makes a nostalgic sound,
I stood still at the window,
Deep in thought as my eyes wandered around.

I thought of the happy times we had,
your pretty visage appeared to me over my bed.
I thought of the memories we shared,
your angelic voice kept ringing in my head.

Every year I think of you,
And pondered why things had to come to such a state.
It seems that time had come to a standstill,
while i regretted over cruel fate.

To think of you, it pains me so much,
Yet, i cant help but continue to live in the shadows of the past.
For you have given me a new definition of life so beautiful and happy such
that, there is nothing more i want than to make that feeling last.

I tried very hard to make space in my heart,
for YOU whose love for me matches the intensity of mine for you.
But, no i cant convince myself to abandon that part,
of me that binds myself to the girl i once intimately knew.

It is not that i do not love YOU at all,
For even the coldest will be thawed by YOUR flaming passion.
It's just that i cant bring myself to live tall,
knowing that 2 angels coexist to affect my emotions.

YOU may not mind and appear not to care,
but it is my own emotional barrier that i can't traverse.
Deep inside, I really cannot bear,
giving YOU less than what YOU rightfully deserves.

I have let both of you down,
failed the expectations both of you have of me.
For making YOU appear like a clown,
And not obeying your wishes for me to find a better she.

Oh, I am so weak and vulnerable!
God, if you can hear me out there,
Please give me the strength, enlightenment and render me able,
to make a decision wise and fair.
Your Birthdate: November 2

You may watch someone from afar before you finally decide to make your move.
It takes a long time for you to develop an attraction to someone.
Generally, you prefer to pick who you love. Anyone who tries to rush you is in for some heartache.

Number of True Loves You'll Have: 3

Number of Times You'll Have Your Heart Broken: 4

You are most compatible with people born on the 2nd, 11th, 20th, and 29th of the month.

Saturday, February 10, 2007