Mixed thoughts

I think i lost my ability to write.

Write, as in, not in the form of report writing. We are trained to do that day in day out in our academic career. Write, as in, to let your feelings flow out in the words you write. The special effort put in to delight readers of your post. To put in the short twist, the commanding thesis statement, a pinch of humour, sprinkled with amusing sarcasm.

That is the reason why i have not been posting anything on this blog. The contents are there still in my daily life, but somehow I cannot express it out in words. Maybe, I cannot be bothered to make things interesting anymore. To put in a factual account of my daily life would be the last thing i would do, it would indeed take the pleasure out of writing itself, something i vaguely remember i used to adore doing.

One good excuse would be to blame it on the education system. For breaking a prose into the claim, argument, evidence structure. All my writings are all so standard that i sometimes wonder if i can produce anything different. To the old times when i can just submit a poem or a song for my chinese composition, or back to primary school when my composition will have amusing pictures. And, still score a decent grade for it.

More probably though, the problem lies in me. Writing is a skill. It takes honing, takes practise to make perfect. It requires an expert to turn a normal account into something interesting and delightful, not just to inform but to amuse, to induce the reader to smile at the monitor. And, that was once my passion. Sadly, no more. My skill has rusted. And so have my perception of life.

In writing, you try to make things interesting, and as a result, you view life from a different perspective. A totally different dimension. The fun things. The rare things. U view things at an angle not perceived by others.

Alas, so busy am i that i cannot even complete this post. Maybe, I should just quit school and become a full time writer. For the passion!

Fat hope. I think that will never happen. Keep dreaming.